White House Introduces . . . the Genderless Restroom

The White House announced today that, to complete the cycle of expanding gender equality, it has completed plans for, and will shortly open, the first Gender Free Bathroom.

The announcement was accompanied by this photo of the new restroom.

White House spokesman Josh Earnest explained critical design features of the new facility:

"These unique restroom facilities comport with the psychological metareality of the genderless. As they understand themselves to be without gender (and therefore without urogenital configuration), these facilities are real cost savers. No plumbing. No running water. No paper towels versus hand dryer battles. While, for all the world, these strongly resemble empty rooms, these are precisely the kinds of restrooms that the genderless demand, and that the public's previous denial of have caused so much pain and anguish among the genderless."

A Tale of Two Parks

So ... Lake Meade is a national park property.  Nonetheless, there are private residences constructed on that private land.  Yet, because the National Parks are closed, the owners of those private residences are barred from residing in their own home.

Oddly, there is a publicly owned residence, also situated entirely within another National park.  Though the National Parks are closed, and private residence owners are barred from residing in their own residences in those parks, there is a family being allowed to reside in a publicly owned residence within that other National Park.

Must be nice to be the Village Chieftain.

Yes.

The White House is a National Park.  Yes, the people of the United States own that park and the private residence quarters therein.  Yes, the National Park Service is denying Lake Meade residents the right to return to their homes.  No, the National Park Service has not given the squatters at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue the bum's rush.