Tim Kaine: The Reset Failed Because Hillary Was Grifted by the Best

The more I think about one particular segment of the vice presidential debate between Mike Pence and Tim Kaine, the more I get a sense of just how deeply stuck up in Hillary's buttocks Senator Kaine has his head shoved.

The question was, essentially, "so then, Senator Kaine, what went wrong with the Russian reset?"

Kaine's response was, in a word, "Putin."

Now, Kaine had already blabbered on about how Trump was servile to Putin and that Clinton understood Putin and knew who he was and what he was capable of doing. And, in response to the question, "why did the agreement with Putin fail," his answer was, "Putin." To put some finesse to his response, he then explained to America that Putin wasn’t a leader, he was a dictator.

I don’t know that I agree that Putin is more a dictator than Barack Obama. But let’s suppose Tim Kaine is right: Putin is a DICTATOR. That answer doesn’t explain why the Russian reset FAILED. Unless, by saying that the reset failure is to be blamed on Putin, Kaine was actually saying that the failure of the reset could not have been predicted, could not have been anticipated.

That would certainly be a strange claim from a man that had just “schooled” Pence and America about the prescience and wisdom, the insight, the skill, the acumen, the judgment, of his topside running mate, Hillary Clinton.

OK, if you buy Kaine’s reasoning, then life is going to be full of hurts for you.

For example, go to a used car lot.

Let the USED CARE SALESMAN tell you about how this “beaut” was owned only by one owner, driven only to church on Sundays, purrs like a kitten, has all its maintenance records up to date, and only has 34,939 miles on it.

Buy that car.

As you're driving down the road and the transmission falls out on the road and you come to an ugly and abrupt stop, ponder what you know about USED CAR SALESMEN.

You know they'll tell you anything. You know that they'll lie to move product. You know that their markup is shocking. Yet, here you are, sitting on a $9,275 collection of ruin.

Is he to blame?

Are you innocent?

Well, he is more to blame and you are more innocent, if you are an innocent naif fresh from the country. But if you are an experienced player, with a highly developed grasp of the games used car dealers play, HOW THE HECK ARE YOU NOT TO BLAME FOR YOUR POOR JUDGMENT?

One of my favorite episodes of “The Simpsons” pits Homer, Marge, Bart, and Lisa against a crafty carny, Cooder, given voice by Jim Varney, the character actor that brought Ernest P. Worrell to life. The Simpsons lose their home to the invading Cooder clan.

As the episode approaches its climax, Homer and the family are outside their home, looking in, and Cooder and clan are inside the home, looking out. Homer challenges Cooder to a game of ring toss. If Homer fails to hook a hula hoop over the chimney, then he promises to sign over the deed to the house to Cooder.

Cooder and clan come outside. Homer reaches to pick up the hula hoop as though he’s actually going to try and throw it up on the roof. Then, in a flash, he and Marge, Bart and Lisa all run inside the house, shutting and locking the door as they go.

The last scene shows Cooder and his son, Spud, on the sidewalk, looking wistfully at the home they just lost:

Spud: Hey! They just ran into the house! That Homer fella grifted you good, Dad.

Cooder: Well, there's no shame in bein' beaten by the best.

Spud: But he didn't seem all that...

Cooder: We were beaten by the best, boy. 

Now we all know, Homer never has been, never was, and never will be the best. But he still came out on top in his witless duel with the carny. Tim Kaine wants us to believe that Hillary is “the best.” But the recent history of Russia’s invasion and occupation of Crimea proves that Hillary possesses no more judgment or acumen than Cooder or Homer.

No, Senator Kaine, you can't have it both ways. You can't blame Putin for the failure of the reset and praise the wisdom, knowledge, and foresight of the American architect of that agreement, Hillary Clinton!