Friday, February 26, 2016

Another Aesop Fable: The Productive Burglar

In which we learn that most folks will object to having done in their own homes exactly those things that they insist illegal aliens have the right to do in our Nation. A man broke into a home. Inside the house, he found the kitchen, made a sandwich, poured himself a glass of milk, and enjoyed his repast. He found the bathroom, toileted, showered, and treated the glass cuts he got on his hand using the first aid kit under the bathroom sink. In the family room, there were shelves and shelves of books. He found an interesting one, and read for hours. When the family came home, he had discovered that the dad worked from home as a call center operator, had signed in on the dad's accounts and was handling calls. The mother of the family called the police. "We have a trespasser in the home. He's taken our food, used our medical supplies, used our school books, and is currently on the computer doing call center work that my husband's job," she explained. The police dispatched officers. The officers arrived on the scene. After investigating, the officers excoriated the family for their discriminatory and selfish attitude. "It ought to be a crime," the one officer stated, "people like you calling others illegal intruders. It's plain as the nose on my face that he's simply an undocumented family member." "Are you going to arrest him? Remove him?" "M'am," the officer replied, "your problem is you've focused on such an artificial construct as property lines, and private ownership. People like you demean and humiliate men like this. Obviously, he's not interested in a free ride. He was the saucer and glass and utensils he used, he wiped down the shower after using it, he put the used medical supplies in the trash, and now he's handling your husband's work for him, work your husband probably complains about having to do." "So, are you going to make him leave?" "No, m'am," he explained, "there are too many men who are doing just like this in other homes around town. If we actually tried to arrest them all, we wouldn't be able to do any real police work. And, frankly, the costs of doing so are so high that you would be shocked by how it would impact your property taxes." "Well, then," the rebuked woman replied, "what would you suggest I do?" "Yo sugeriría que se aprende a hablar español." (Translation: "I suggest you learn to speak Spanish" MORAL: Claro, usted puede optar por aprender a hablar español , pero si no se va a asegurar sus fronteras , es probable que tenga que aprender a hablar español. (Translation: Sure, you can choose to learn to speak Spanish, but if you are not going to secure your borders, you will likely have to learn to speak Spanish.)